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Paddy Cake Speaks

We didn’t know it when we signed Paddy Cake onto our Udderly EZ team, but she’s actually quite a wordsmith. Look for occasional guest posts from her as she continues her career as a dairy cow.

You would not believe how difficult it is to convince UPS to make deliveries to a barn, even in central Kentucky. I have been round and round with Amazon, unable to get an explanation as to why they must have a signature to leave my order at our farm in Lexington. I can’t provide a signature, because I’m a cow.

This seems to be the part they get hung up on.

In my three years of life so far, my primary directive has been to teach humans everything I can about Milking, and I have to tell you, the hardest thing to get them to pick up on is punctuality. I have been trying to convince Amazon to deliver an alarm clock to my current Student, and they do not seem to understand what a crucial teaching tool it is.

I am one of the country’s smallest miniature Jersey cows at just over three feet tall (I’m pausing for you to applaud here, because I’m quite proud of this fact), so I only need to be milked once per day, and I insist that the Student do it in a timely manner. My milking time is 8:45 a.m., and he is pretty good about showing up then, but every once in a while he will wait until 8:50 a.m., which I consider subpar. I arrive at my pasture gate every morning around 8:45, and if he is not outside by the appointed time, I begin calling for him.

Let me tell you, our neighbors love this.

I may be small, but I learned how to project my voice at an early age, so I generally get my point across.

A hat tip to Chick Fil A for the image

I’m headed off with my Student to teach some other humans about milking at the upcoming UK Farm and Facilities Expo June 2 in Lexington. I have so much wisdom I’d like to impart upon them, but perhaps I should start with something like this?

I’ll let you know how it goes.

Much love,

Paddy Cake

Here I am with The Student at a recent educational event.

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