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From Paddy Cake


By July 3, 2015April 30th, 2022No Comments

I believe that communication is an important part of the education process. That’s why I occasionally find it frustrating that the Human does not understand Cowspeak. Most of the time, I can send him an email list of my demands (moo-to-text software is a blessing), which usually include more alfalfa, more dew on the grass in my pasture, and a new alarm clock for his bedside table. But every once in awhile, he’ll say or do something that requires immediate reprimand.

I don’t advise kicking out at Humans who make mistakes during the learning process–I have never done such a thing, and am only aware of the practice from MooTube. I do agree however, that if your person makes a mistake like failing to strip out a teat properly, or neglecting to apply some olive oil before applying the Ultimate EZ, they need to be told.

Remember, kids – if they start using anything but the Ultimate EZ on you, make this face and jailbreak!

I’ve spent the past few weeks in my milking parlor perfecting my Are-You-Serious-Stare. I think it’s going quite well. The key is to leave the lovely brown eyes perfectly open, and drop the ears sideways slightly, indicating your preemptive disappointment. Flare your nostrils a bit to signal the oncoming sigh.

If you do this convincingly enough, maybe the humans will even begin rethinking their milking parlor attire (seriously, I still have to look at you, ya know…you might at least do me the courtesy of wearing matching socks).

Find a shiny water tub and practice while you’re working on your cud some afternoon–believe me, the time investment is worth it.

Paddy Cake is the newest member of the Ultimate EZ team. Standing just about three feet at the shoulder, the 3-year-old helps us with demonstrations of our wonderful automatic milking machine at fairs and expos in the central Kentucky region. When she’s not teaching the public about the joys of milking at home, she’s trying to train our inventor, Buck Wheeler, to do a better job of it. Look for more of her exploits and commentary here at our blog!