Dear Adoring Public,
It has not escaped my notice that even as we approach my project spring delivery date, I have not been contacted by any of you offering to arrange a calf shower for me. You may not be aware of it, but it is traditional to do this toward the latter part of a cow’s gestation. For a busy entrepreneur like me, scheduling can be a challenge, so I suggest all interested parties get their emails in soon with date requests so we can arrange as many parties for me as possible.
I’ve already begun compiling a list of items I’m hoping to receive at my shower. Feel free to distribute amongst yourselves:
-More alfalfa. Despite my complaints, the Human is not providing me the 1/2 ton I’ve asked for each day. He tends to think grass hay is acceptable in some circumstances. Completely unrealistic.
–Glass bottles for my Ultimate EZ milker. Our customers love them, and so do I. Glass washes just as clean as plastic without any concerns about chemical leeching.
–A stainless steel bucket for milk collection. Also the ultimate in cleanliness.
–The Ultimate water hose, which comes in handy during these frigid winter temperatures. This hose is designed to withstand temperatures as low as -25. We haven’t seen that yet in the Bluegrass this year, but I like my Human to be prepared.
–The Essential Guide To Calving. I’ve done some internet research but I prefer hands-on books that I can mark up (or chew when I get bored). Also I’m hoping the Human will give this a read-over. He’s calved out before, but more education never hurt anyone.
Any suggestions from my admiring fans?